Red Rock Bar & Grill – Sunset
Perry Kurtz is the Special Headliner for the Labor Day Party
at Dinah Leffert’s Comedy Show. He will be dancing. So, ladies bring your dollar
bills.
Red Rock Bar & Grill – Sunset
Perry Kurtz is the Special Headliner for the Labor Day Party
at Dinah Leffert’s Comedy Show. He will be dancing. So, ladies bring your dollar
bills.
The Secret Of Celebrity Success
Who do you admire? Why does the world take notice of them and not us? Do they have a common way to become a winner in their field? If so then what is the secret formula?
Purpose
Winning celebrities all have a clear vision a guiding purpose a light at the end of their tunnel that keeps them going day after day on their path. These celebrities get what they want because they know exactly what they want. They can feel and sense it, they experience it in their minds and their hearts. They can see it in their minds eye and describe it as if it were there already there. Conversely most of us think that we will be laughed at, if we talk about what we want, we become afraid of looking foolish and stupid, instead we dare not to dream! Try to take a risk today and dream of your North Star, let it guide you on your path.
Core
Celebrity Winners have another big secret. They surround themselves with winners. They find people that want them to win. They know that if you surround yourself with a core of talent then that talent can be focused. Top Celebrities find and develop a team to help them, a human ship with the celebrity at the helm. Winning celebrities acknowledge that cannot do everything themselves so they find and complement their talents with a good team to help move them on. They find team members who are successful in their own fields. Such a team may consist of , accountants, lawyers, publicist, and managers, make up artists, writers, producers and fitness/life coaches.
Aims for Life
Just like a business has a business plan, winning celebrities have a clear plan that they follow. They know what to do and when to do it with uncanny timing. However, they do this because it is in their plan. They are implementing this plan day after day. It may not be as formulaic at a time-line or a map but their own life plans works just as well for them. It shows the steps they have to take on life’s journey to get them to their destination. Such a plan may be drawn up with the team supporting the celebrity. Each plan starts out small with baby steps. This ensures early success. As the celebrity becomes accustomed to their map and the steps, then more momentum is built up. This plan is nearly always written down. You often see these winners carrying a diary or a some sort or a flow chart that shows them were they are on their journey in life. I am not suggesting that you create a business plan for your life but rather create a written strategy that keeps you on your path and prevents you taking detours. With such a plan in place it is a case of following the plan and taking one planed step at a time.
Priorities and Goals
With a plan in place winning celebrities often organize themselves with hierarchical things to do. They are the type of people that get organized and have a sense of what has to be done first. They have a knack of knowing what is important and what is fluff. If a higher priority is being ignored they can drop everything a allocate their resources to priority one. Priority two, three and four are put to one side for later attention. If they find they are distracted with meaningless unimportant work they will stop what they are doing and get back to their top priority and get back to the plan and work on that priority and nothing else. Sometimes an even higher priority takes over e.g. your child gets sick at school, or you are suddenly involved in some sort of emergency on the highway. These things happen and winning celebrities deal with them quickly and efficiently. They then get back to their highest priority on their plan.
Reality
Winning Celebrities do not have room in their lives for denial, fitful fancies or fiction. They often deal with life like a child, in the moment, dealing with life as it comes day to day. Rather than setting themselves up for a fall by deluding themselves with impossible dreams they rely on what is do-able, and ignore what in not. When criticized as we all are they do not become defensible rather they absorb the input and feedback and treat it not as an attack on them but as away to improve. At the same time they are able to distinguish what feedback is useful and what is trash. Winning Celebrities know what they can do and what they cannot do because they remain truthful to themselves. No kidding and accepting impossible challenges. They just do their thing to the best of their ability. Their attitude is if I know the problems, then I can plan to deal with them.
Flexibility
Celebrities who consistently win sometimes take what I call missteps. Not mistakes but missteps. Just like a marathon runner who takes a wrong turn, winning celebrities acknowledge the error and self correct to get back on track. They do not waste time saying that they are a failure and get all upset about the misstep. Instead they get on with fixing the mistake, or misstep. These winning celebrities like the marathon runner who takes a misstep and goes the wrong way, they just let it go and carry on, getting back on track in the right direction. One step at a time. If they their path is blocked then like a marathathon runner who has come up against a hole in the ground, then they find a new path around the problem and carry on.
Zeal
Winning celebrities who play to win always have a deep passion about what they are doing. Once focused they become excited about what they are doing. They get energized and eager to get on with taking the steps of their chosen path. To them it is the pursuit of the chosen goal that excites them. It does not become a job or another day at work it becomes their very existence. They are having fun. They can’t wait to get to work the next day for this is who they are, this is what they are, and this is them. They love what they do and do what they love. They have a purpose, a passion a dream that they are living one step at a time day by day.
Chance
Celebrities are consistent winners who are willing to take risks. Do not misunderstand, this does not mean that they are foolhardy and reckless. This means that they take calculated risks. They go out of their comfort zone in order to succeed at new challenges. They take the plunge into the unknown. They leave behind the safe world of mundane existence and venture forth as pioneers in their field. They are they explores of life trying out new things. They find new ways to do what has been done before. They realize that people become legacy bound. “It’s they way we have always operated our business” someone might say. A winning celebrity will answer. Can we do this any other way? Can we do the opposite? Can we change? They go against the crowd mentality, for that is where no one has been before. Warren Buffet made his fortune by daring to invest his money when others were fleeing the markets, he bought when prices were low. He knew prices would come back someday and he was rewarded for the risk he took. Likewise J.K. Rowling dared to write seven books about a child wizard, not one book like others would have done but seven books. The result was that Book publishers fought over this unknown authoress who scribbled in a cafe. Who could have thought that a totally unknown stranger could write a play script for a violent film and then make and star in it himself. Sylvester Stalone did just that when he wrote the script for Rocky. All of these celebrities have dared to take risks others would shy away from, they stepped out of the comfort zone and became winners as a result.
Achievement
Winning Celebrities always take action. Because these people are not afraid of risk and because they have a do-able plan they are certain of their path. How many of us procrastinate and talk of what could be done. Winning celebrities get on because they do not procrastinate, they are just working their plan and prioritizing. Just like the Nike slogan, they “Just do it”. The action that they take is not one off. Instead it is consistent and relentless, day in day out. They remain focused even if their initial actions fail to get results. This is because they know that in society rewards are not given up lightly. The winning celebrities mantra is if one action does the job great, but if it takes ten actions then fair enough. How many of us believe in the once in a lifetime action to fix all our woes. The Beatles did not write hit song after hit song as many people believe, instead between the band members, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Ringo Star and George Harrison they wrote and recorded almost 365 songs. Not 20-30 top ten hits as most people believe. The Beatles new they would be successful if they just kept on schedule.
In fact Paul McCartney kept a daily journal; in which he would write down what he was going to do that day. This was on top of all the other stuff like concerts and sound recordings. The work ethic was relentless, the rest is history.
Self Ruling
Winning celebrities know that the most important resource they have is themselves. Winning celebrities actively manage their physical, emotional, and mental well-being as they know how important such things are. They keep their life in balance, not becoming workaholics. They keep themselves from burnout as much as they can. The ones who do not are the ones who fall by the wayside and become another has been. Although I’ve said they all have an important passion that drives them on they also know how to keep this life passion in check. Winning celebrities will not languish in a job that is dead end, or stay in a sick and draining relationship. They take care of number one first, because it is they who are the one who gets the results they desire. They only get such results if they are complete in health both mentally and physically, not high on drugs or alcohol because they worked themselves into the ground. How many sixty year olds can run around a stage like Mick Jagger if they are not fit?
Conclusions
All of these qualities sound too much to some then tough. If you are one of those people who just gives up then I’m sorry you just will not amount to much in life. You are driftwood a loss going with the flow. If this sounds uncomfortable then that is great because you have just taken the first step and acknowledged your anger and realized you can be better. The great thing is that we all can have these winning strategies if we take the time to understand hoe to apply them to our own life. We to can become winners within our own field of expertise. Celebrities are just like you and me they do not have a monopoly on life skills nor do you. The very same skills can be found all around us. Try looking at school teachers, doctors, community workers and the countless others that do their thing. Following their chosen paths. One day they to will be great! Maybe you already do some of the things outlined above, then great.
Silveral Celebrity Observer. http://celebrity-news.biz/?page_id=80
www.YourVideoReward.com NOTE: OK LEMME START OF SAYIN THAT I DID NOT MAKE THIS VID TA DEGRADE NE 1…IN 1 SENSE PPL R SO OBSESSED WIT IMAGE THAT IT MAKES REGULAR PPL LIKE US HARD TA B HAPPY WIT WHO WE R AND THEY BASE THIS ON THE CELEBRITY FANATSY…BUT IN REALITY THESE PPL DON’T LOOK LIKE THAT EITHER THEY R CUT, SUCKED,NIPPED AND TUCKED…TAKE AWAY THEIR MONEY AND FAME AND WE WOULD BA LOT HAPPIER AND WOULD HAVE A LOT MORE PPL JUS LIKE US WALKIN AROUND…CELEBRITIES THEY USED TA B JUS LIKE US!!!! ZACH BRAFF IS FOTOSHOPPED!!!

Tiger Woods best round of golf in over a year, why?
by John Diresta The HOLLYWOOD Dog Whisperer
Tiger Woods just had his best round of golf in over a year, why you might ask? BECAUSE HE IS NO LONGER MARRIED! No nagging. No fifty cell calls a day. No questions about stupid stuff. No problems to deal with while being thousands of miles away from home. No wife, no problems. No women, no cry.
Good for you Tiger! You go with bad ‘no condom using’ self.
Tiger Woods was always the American Dream; young kid from a meager background that goes on to be the most well known sports figure in history; right up there with Mohammad Ali and Michael Jordan. But not anymore…now he is the American Dream with the Freedom To Get As Much Hassle Free Coochy As One Man Can Stand! I want to be Tiger Woods; money, fame, golf, free stuff and condom free coochy forever! This brings a whole new meaning to all you can eat. If i can’t be Tiger Woods can I least be his Junk?
Plus the girls Tiger digs are everywhere, there for the picking, or shall I say for the pick up. Young, bleached blond, upper middle white trash white broads that own a cell phone. He can find his type of women at any Waffle House, Mall or Swap Meet all over the world! Sure, the poor guy has to deal with a new family dynamic with his kids living in a new home, etc, but guess what? Who cares? Those kids are only two and four years old, he can’t be that attached to the them. He’ll see them at Christmas and on Facebook. Tiger Woods reps a whole new form of male freedom. From here on, Tiger Woods is my fearless leader.
To all you bitter, angry, unhappy housewives that continue to snoop through your husbands texts and emails I got news for you ladies…….Tiger Woods wins! He will be banging everything that moves. Tiger Woods drinks your milkshake, he drinks it up.
I’m out, off to eat some dog food. Tonight I am going to mix it with some cat food, the surf and turf.
Dog News Release
Tiger Woods best round of golf in over a year, why? by John Diresta The HOLLYWOOD Dog Whisperer. Hysterical POV on Tigers new status a a “free agent”
Open Mike
Joke Juice Workout
@ the Tribal Cafe
1651 W. Temple Street
Los Angeles, CA 90026
213-483-4458
1st Thursday of the Month
Sep. 2nd
8pm show
FREE
**Greg Dean Students!**
guaranteed spots if you email
SCOTT BERGER at
ComedyTuneUp@gmail.com
by deadline September 1, 2010
Greg Dean Students – 7 minutes (with reservation)
Regular Open Mikers – 5 minutes
In association with Comedy Tune-Up Productions
Sponsored By Greg Dean’s Stand-Up Comedy Workshop

Discount on Beginner Stand-Up Comedy Workshop. Greg Dean has the longest running stand-up comedy school in America, since 1982.
www.stand-upcomedy.com
On a Saturday night, I hosted a comedy show at the Green Room on Hollywood Boulevard in Hollywood, which BY THE WAY, I will be doing AGAIN on Saturday Aug. 28th at 8pm. As it was a summer night, and Hollywood Boulevard was packed with tourists as well as locals. The tourists spend most of their time pointing and gawking at the signs and statues and the pictures that are displayed everywhere you look. Many of them have pictures taken of them on or by the stars of the famous people on the Boulevard. The locals come down to stare at the tourists and make fun of them behind their backs. It is literally like a cattle stampede with so many people moving, filling the sidewalks.
During our comedy show, a gentleman with a crutch began a fight with the manager of the club on the sidewalk by the front door because he wanted to come in.. They screamed at each other for about 10 minutes. I heard the manager say to the guy, “You come by every week and do the same thing. You’re drunk, and I won’t let you into the club in that condition.” After another 10 minutes of screaming, the man finally calmed down, and asked the manager to shake his hand. When the manager refused, another argument broke out. Lots of screaming and use of the F word. LOTS. The man started to get more aggressive and threatened violence. Meanwhile the crowd grew and grew and grew. As someone who works entertaining alcoholics at least once or twice a year, I know that alcoholics, sorry drunks, tend to get a little upset when they are denied entrance to any establishment. I know that the man was drunk and had a crutch.
But, all I kept thinking was, let him take the first swing, and kick out the crutch.
Game over!
Everyone return to your homes.
For more comedy, go to http://www.perrykurtz.com
Sunday August 22nd
National Comedian Perry Kurtz will be featured in
The Chick & Bro Show
“Sunday Funnies”
at
Harpers Bar & Grill
5545 Reseda Blvd., Tarzana 91365.
Showtime in 7pm.
No Cover Charge. Good Food. Full Bar.
And some of the funniest comics EVER!
For more on Perry, go to:
www.perrykurtz.wordpress.com
www.perrykurtz.com
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Steven Slater is an a-hole of the highest order! Period. That is exactly what I thought at first. Jesus H. Crimony, this rude, ugly, metro-sexual flight attendant is getting waaaaaay too much praise and a possible tv show? WTF??!! How can this happen? He’s a jerk! He hates his clientele! He is snippy, snappy, and never happy. He is the type of flight attendant that parses out the free Blue Chips late, and he does it on purpose! He hands them out late just so he can win at his own sick little game called, ‘How Can Mind-F*ck That Fat Slob in 22B?’ I reaaaally disliked this guy. A lot. I was a full-fledged ‘Slater Hater.’Not anymore.
This guy, Steven Slater, is a mother-f*cking hero! Think of it, not only defiantly quitting his job but doing with flair, in front the people you hate the most, and then grabbing a cold one and making a huge mother-f*cking dismount! He exited chut-left. He is the man. Antrax, the metal band from the Bronx, should get back together and do a song about Steven Slater, excuse me, I mean Sir Steven Slater.
The name of the song should be called “I am the man. Jet Blew.”
Think of every time you have ever wanted to quit your job, lots of jobs. Real day jobs suck. Worse then the day job is the mutts the come with it; you know who I’m talking about; the soup slurper, the bragger, the Guido, the slut with the bad boob job, the Stinker with his BO, the bad breather and then there are the bosses, supervisors, chiefs, monster a-holes, every last one of them. Then there is the corny retreats, the summer BBQ and the stupid Christmas party where you get to see all the skanky wives in their cheap red dresses. Remember in Good Fellas what Henry Hill said about day jobs?
“Day jobs are for the schnooks that had no balls, those goody-good people that ride the bus to work for bum paychecks, they’re chumps, they got no balls.”
Well imagine everyone you ever hated @ your day job were all jammed into one long metal tube. Their fat asses sausaged into small seats. They all have bad breath, bad accents, bad moods, bad wigs, bad caps, bad clothes, bad bratty kids, bad habits and bad manners, and the topper of all toppers, imagine you were their flight attendant, their server, their babysitter, their mother–and you had to this five times a week for dozens of hours at a time AND this was all taking place at 27,000 feet while your moving at about 583 miles an hour. You see where I’m leading? Slater had enough of the chumps, the a-holes, the snorers, the white trash, the arrogant dog lovers, the rude New Yorkers, the loud seniors, the cheap tourists, the terrorists and the worst of the worse, the crying babies. In my opinion, at least one parent of a crying baby should be sentenced to the death penalty. Especially if it’s the red eye from LAX to JFK on a Sunday night.
Here are just a few of the questions that drove Sir Slater to his own personal freedom.
‘My tv has no signal. My tv has no signal. My tv has no signal.’
‘Can I get an extra pillow?’
‘Can get an extra blanket?’
‘Can I get an extra of anything you might have extra of?’
‘How much is a soda?’
‘You don’t’ take cash?’
‘How much longer?’
‘How much longer?’
‘How much longer?’
‘I know this will fit in the overhead.’
‘I know this will fit in the overhead.’
‘I know this will fit in the overhead.’
‘I think I shit my pants.’
‘I know I shit my pants.’
‘I need help the bathroom.’
You get my point? Ya’ understand? Sir Slater followed the ultimate impulse; fight or flight. He chose flight. He broke out to arrive at his own personal freedom. He chose ‘f*ck you all’ and quit. Bravo. I owe you a beer. I can dig it. Can’t you? Seriously, back when I was a NYC Transit Cop (worst job ever, worse then coal miner, crab fisherman or PR agent for Tiger Woods) there was a fellow cop that became a legend by quitting the job in grand style, over the air, one his hand-held, while on duty. ‘Central be advised, I quit, this job sucks. Over and out. For real.” And then the officer got on the Long Island Railroad for free, road out to Lindenhurst Station and walked home, never to be seen again at the precinct. His name is Mike Ross. Mike Ross is a hero. Steven Slater is a hero. In world that is infested with PC bull crap, pansy ass kids, ball-less-beat-down-dads and sniveling working stiffs that will never try and better themselves Steven Slater stands out. He is the man. For real. Steven Slater drinks your milkshake, he drinks it up.
I’m out, off to eat some dog food.
The New York Times called him “UPROARIOUS!
You’ve seen him on ‘DiResta’, launched on the UPN Network, Miss Congeniality, 15 Minutes with Robert De Niro,, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Howard Stern Show., Trash to Cash, premiered on the FX Network.,How To Loose a Guy in Ten Days , Miss Congeniality Two., American Body Shop on Comedy Central, Hammered on HGTV/DIY Networks. and stand up comedy main rooms from New York to Los Angeles, www.johndiresta.com
“Mel Gibson Will Be Back” The Hollywood Dog Whisperer – John DiResta
Mel Gibson is a fighter. He will fight back. You do not get to be where Mr. Gibson was in Hollywood, a Top Dog, without being a fighter. Show biz is a tough bizness, touuuuugh bizness, not to get too corny, but it’s a dog fight but Mel fought through and Mel was the man @ the summit; actor, director, best practical joker, most money maker, most funny, most handsome, most great movies and then, well, then he took a slight fall. Slight, not so much you would notice……
First lesson, always assume all your phone calls ARE being recorded, always! Actually there are three things a man must always assume and these are the three things:
1: Always assume a gun IS loaded.
2: Always assume that your wife IS in a bad mood
3. Always assume that all phone calls ARE being taped, always!
Come on now, how can a guy not realize all that very private verbage was being taped? I don’t even say bad things on a private cell phone call for the fear of some wierdo with a HAM radio recording me in most natural, most loosest-of-all tounges. NOT ME. Thank you, this Dog don’t hunt! You got to be good with the tactics bro! It’s 2010 everyone knows everything! Twitter, Facebook, AOL, TMZ, Radar, Chelsea Lately, CNN, etc…..it’s a knife fight with the lights out bro! When you jump on a pirate ship expect to get stabbed in the back.
Now I am not calling Mel a hero because of his racial slang, I ain’t down with that, I love everyone. But come on now, what man (especially married over twenty years) does not want to scream at his wife like that? Bravo, clap, clap, clap, clap…Not only did it have balls…..but it had gusto, it had heart, it had mocking, it had sarcasm, it had meaning and most of all, it had true emotion; do they give Oscars for taped cell calls? If they do Mel better clear his mantel over in Malibu because is a shoe in this year.
Mel’s rants are right up there in the Phone Call Hall of Fame, right along side Captain Jenks, The Jerky Boys, Alec ‘you dirty little pig’ Baldwin and Tiger ’19th Hole’ Woods. I have all the Mel calls on a CD. The should sell them in a late night infomercial, Christmas is coming……. I find the calls, deep, disturbing, interesting, crist, shocking, fun, festive and in a world of Jersey House Skanks and Jersey Shore Skanks these recordings stand-out as real, true and as authentic as Morton Downey’s smoking habit.
Here is what Mel should do…. He should settle-out with Ax-ona, cut that kook loose. Move back to Australia for a while, grow some crazy beard and enjoy his accomplisments. Then, in about five years, after nobody has seen or heard from Mel he will come back with a movie so big, so bad, so focking great (like Passion of the Christ) that it cannot be denied. It will have love, hate, life, death, tragedy and comedy and most of all it will have Mel Gibson as the lead character, the fighter that never gives up, no matter what happens, he fights on, blazes on, the fighter, the warriror, the King that has given us, the home viewers dozens of great, epic films and dozens of great characters, historic characters, to watch and to enjoy and to relish in those characters victories with a shared love in our hearts and smiles on our faces….and the memorable name of that epic masterpiece will be, “First You Blow Me! The we go to the jacuzzi!’
The New York Times called him “UPROARIOUS!
You’ve seen him on ‘DiResta’, launched on the UPN Network, Miss Congeniality, 15 Minutes with Robert De Niro,, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Howard Stern Show., Trash to Cash, premiered on the FX Network.,How To Loose a Guy in Ten Days , Miss Congeniality Two., American Body Shop on Comedy Central, Hammered on HGTV/DIY Networks. and stand up comedy main rooms from New York to Los Angeles, www.johndiresta.com
I’m writing to let you know about a new open mic comedy show here in Los Angeles – Scott Everett Berger’s JOKE JUICE at The Tribal Cafe. Starting Thursday September 2nd, 2010 and hopefully every first Thursday of the month thereafter, I will be offering this fun, intimate and supportive room to workout and network.
sign up 7:30pm
show at 8:00pm
5 min. per comic
for more info email me scotteberger@me.com
or here at comedytuneup@gmail.com
Scott Everett Berger’s
JOKE JUICE











Next Show
Thursday Sept. 2nd
7:30pm



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