GPS electric scooters rock! If you’ve recently been to Hollywood, Santa Monica, or any area of Los Angeles which attracts a lot of walking traffic, no doubt you’ve seen those new electric scooters, either gliding around a millennial, waiting on the sidewalk for somebody or dead in the middle of the road, waiting for an accident.

Between Bird, Lime, Uber and Lyft, pedestrians have an alternative to scooting themselves around town. The fact is, between Bird, Lime, Uber and Lyft, there are approximately 35,000 rentable electric scooters in town. That’s more scooters than you can shake a GPS at. Gaming on the new market economy, as well as advancement in GPS technology, self-renting electric scooters offer an alternative to one of L.A.’s biggest no-no’s. Walking. Truth is, it’s always been very difficult to walk through LA’s neighborhoods, in light of the fact that everyone else is zipping by in a car. I’ve walked for miles in other cities such as San Francisco, New York, and London and those places just seem made for the sport of walking. Here in LA, if one wants to walk, you usually need to join a gym and get on the treadmill. For some weird indefinable reason, walking in LA has always been for the home of the brave. There are plenty of “hikes” up Runyon Canyon, where actors and writers get their weekly dose of fresh air, exercise and humiliation as someone thinner, younger and more successful sweeps right by them. This is a factor of living in LA. No matter what you have, there’s always someone with something a little bit better. One of the rules of surviving in LA is to just get over it and on with it. GPS electric scooters rock!

More Than Affordable

Scooter rental prices are really quite reasonable. For Lime, for example, to unlock the scooter will cost you a dollar, then it’s 15 cents a minute. All you do is download an app on your phone, put in your payment details, then use the app to find the nearest scooter with a full charge and you’re on your way!  It’s a great way to get from here to there short distances, but can be dangerous. The scooters all come with a warning not to ride on the sidewalk, but everyone does it. Riding on the street – although I’ve seen it – can be very dangerous for obvious reasons.   So, for me to park my car a few blocks away late at night, then take a scooter home, it can cost as little as 2 dollars.  And when added up for the month, my parking costs are well below 50 bucks total.

Middle of the Night Recharging Elves

You may ask, how do these electric instruments get recharged?  Good question.  When all are asleep, indoors, and getting ready for the next day’s fight, silent men and women sweep up and down the streets, finding and collecting the scooters in their pickup trucks, take them home and recharge them.  And apparently they get good money for it too.  Lime calls their rechargers “Lime Juicers”.

Giving a Knee for the Environment

I live in Hollywood. Right on Sunset Boulevard. Parking around my place is nearly impossible. From homeless caravans taking up entire streets to local film production shutting down streets for filming to Netflix taking over the entire neighborhood, parking is becoming the number one sport of my village. I hurt my knee a few months ago and so walking is a bit limited for me at the moment. What I do usually when I get home is circle the blocks in my hood, trying to find as close a spot as possible. One that’s legal and will allow me to sleep as late as possible. And if it’s too far away and I’m too tired at the end of the night, I will take a scooter home. It’s actually rather fun!  I highly recommend it. Even though you inevitably end up looking like an overgrown kid.  And, at the end of the day, what’s wrong with that!

For the Hollywood Dog, this has been Steven Alan Green 2/24/20

Read more by Steven Alan Green.

Jack Zullo grew up not just watching, studying and loving John Belushi, but indeed actually being John.   His college days were filled with party-on philosophy and action and yet, Zullo maintained a keen observational overview that allowed him to study very carefully what in fact made the late John Belushi so beloved to begin with. John’s unabashed never quenched thirst for life.  And by life, we’re talking partying and making comedy. Of equal value. Sure, many other comedians have had their party days, but Belushi was equally as defined by his drinking and drugging as he was by his comedy. And that’s what made him even more compelling to watch. Because you just never knew when it was his final performance. The talent of full on participation and simultaneous keen observation is what makes a true artist and Jack Zullo is the best of the best.  With his newly revised show review, “With a Little Help…It’s John Belushi!” (a critical 2016 Hollywood Fringe success originally branded “Live From the Grave…It’s John Belushi!”), Jack brings back, in intense and accurate detail, exactly who John was at and on each stage of his early career and therefore what he was as a performer at and on each stage throughout his life. As we follow the storyline of the little big man from the suburbs of Chicago go from bit player to the biggest comedy star on the planet, we are given a keen insight into precisely what it took and indeed how much Belushi believed in himself and his talents before anyone ever did.  In as much as anyone in showbiz must endure and overcome obstacles to make it, as portrayed, John Belushi walked a very fine line of pissing off his allies and colleagues, which only a true chaotic comedy genius not just could, but would. Like The Marx Brothers showing up at Louie B. Mayer’s MGM offices completely naked to protest censorship or even just for the fun. John Belushi was so confident in himself and his talents, to an almost but not quite, arrogant degree. And even when he was unabashedly arrogant, his charm was always there to rescue and recuse him out of any awkward situation, whether it was convincing his girlfriend Judy with a kiss or displacing friend and life partner Dan Akylrod’s frustration by simply picking up a harmonica and blowing the shit out of it.  To step on or over anybody to get there, but to not be stepped on himself, as demonstrated when he confronted National Lampoon head Matty Simmons or defied an early Lorne Michaels’ cold indifference, which was bolstered by a tagging along GIlda Radner, by simple persistence. As far as a comedian advocate, John Belushi was the unintentional original. And the comedian he advocated for the most was of course himself.

The show opens with a raucous top-notch world-class blues band, helmed by Robin Russell and the Crazy Tomes Band, which tells us the audience immediately, this is gonna be a very fun night and indeed it was.  What the show is basically is a switchback template between narrator Zullo/Belushi telling us the audience what was next for him, then cutting to vignette and scene and then back to the center mic for a roaring version of Rubber Biscuit with sideman Dan. The idea here is actually quite unique, and this writer has never seen it anywhere. Jack starts the story at when John discovers his love for comedy and ends it at the height of his career, leaving out the nasty unfortunate stain of John’s tragic and way too soon Hollywood death.  What makes this show fun is that we’re taken along the journey to success from minute detail to minute step up.  From John first going to see Second City and asking his friend Dan to get him an audition, to John making up on his feet he’s part of an improv troupe called The West Compass Players.  He practices his Joe Cocker at home to the behest of Judy who wants him to come to bed.  Joyce Sloan from Second City admonishes him not to steal from their touring show. John is warned not to do “even a whisper of Second City material.”  So there is tension and set up for the underlying drama and when we see John forging ahead no matter what, it’s nothing less than inspirational. Rounding out the cast are a bevvy of wonderful young actors, as well as a few seasoned ones.  I’m not gonna pick and choose who I liked in particular, but if you imagine the creatives behind the scenes such as Tony Hendra, Lorne Michaels, as well as National Lampoon’s Matty Simmons, you get the idea that we’re also on an educational journey that informs the audience, that genius cannot exist with one man alone.  And indeed the show itself is exactly the same.  Context is everything in art and John’s first television appearance is him getting hit with tear gas at the ‘68 Chicago Democratic convention.  CUT TO: Belushi and cohorts doing one of their classic Second City sketches mocking police intimidation. John walked the walk in life, then talked the talk on stage.  That alone is the textbook definition of journalistic comedy and it should be memorialized, and Zullo does just that. John Belushi was no Bluto. He was a very smart political satirist who actually put his life at risk in real life and dealt with things through his comedy art.

“With a Little Help…It’s John Belushi!” lands smack in the middle of Hollywood history, as it prepares its ultimate journey to the Belushi Valhalla known as Theatre 80 in New York City this December, where it will be directed by Levy Lee Simon with a mainly new cast.  This show remembers the great John Belushi for his lust for life, not his playing with the devil which ultimately lead to his early death. And that alone makes “With a Little Help…It’s John Belushi!” as entertaining and daring as the man himself.

Cast members include: Jack Zullo as Belushi, Keith Saltojanes as Danny, Stephanie LeHane as Gilda, Joya Mia Italiano as Eugenie, Samantha Jane as Billie, Christopher DeMaci as Tino and Del Close, Carly Hatter as Judy, Kennan McCarthy as Lorne, Steve Whittle as Brian, Riley Schuett as Harold, Louie Mandrapilias as Bernie, Chad Little as Matty, Mark Towns as Dan Payne and Tony, Adam Lau as Steve and Christopher, Bryce David Harrison as Phil and Chevy, Chrisi Talyn Saje as Joyce, Ray Chao as Joe, Jeremiah Benjamin as Jim Fisher.  LA staging, documentor and director Eric Michael Kochmer, Lindsay Castillo-Dilyou Stage Manager, Rehearsal Tech and Show, Rachael Stein Stage Manager, Tech and Show.

For The Hollywood Dog, this is Steven Alan Green

September 27, 2019

Yes, we all know the big news in Southern California.  It’s been hot.  Hotter than Madonna in the early 80’s, like I always like to say.  And, while it’s the perfect time of year to head to the beach or hang pool-side, if you’re like most of us, you gotta work inside.  And so that’s where the conundrum begins. Most of us would rather be out in the hot sun.

Chivalry has been replaced by sunblock

Such beautiful days, you want to enjoy it.  In the old days, one would take a stroll with your loved one, holding an umbrella over her dainty little head to shield my lady from the vicious harsh rays of the sun. Today there’s sunscreen.  Chivalry has been replaced by greasy cream with a SPF of 35.  Everything gets a little more important in hot weather.  Everything is literally illuminated more and just the feeling of being hot changes everyone’s fashion choices.

Image is fashion

High Tops and Doc Martins are replaced by sandals.  Socks are often thrown by the wayside.  Tee shirts and tank tops are in, and leather is left to gather dust in dark and musty closets.  Everyone is going to the gym more because the parts of their bodies exposed to view, such as their flabby arms, are now scrutinized to the nth degree.   Image ultimately becomes as important as health.  After all, image is fashion.   And health is just an extension of fashion.

A writer’s workplace is in the dark

As a writer, my job involves being indoors most of the time.  Sitting at a laptop in a dimly lit room.  It usually takes me a while to warm up, but once there, you can’t stop me.  Pretty soon I’m typing away at the speed of ideas.  Luckily, my office has a little backyard area.  And because of that, I am afforded the luxury of taking sun breaks every 90 minutes.   An hour and a half straight typing at the laptop, then a ten minute break in the sun.   Getting back to nature, even if it’s just to soak up nature’s vitamin D, is a good thing.

Be careful out there

Enjoy your summer.  Whatever you do, make sure you get some sun every day. It’s good for you.  And make sure you’re covered with some good sunscreen. It’s protection from bad things.  Aside from the risk of skin cancer, it protects you from the all annoying sunburn.  Believe me, even though my name is Green, I would rather not be too red.

For the Hollywood Dog, this is Steven Alan Green, L.A. 7-13-17  

In this blog, writer/comedian Steven Alan Green has the password to good writing: Wi-Fi.

As a writer Wi-Fi is essential.

I spend at least 5 hours a day at the laptop.  I write blogs and screenplays.  Like any worker out there, I like to have the best working conditions.  Those conditions include having good Wi-Fi.  I don’t like to write at home. Never have.  I like to be out around people.  Coffee houses are the best for me.

Wi-Fi and Coffee

I’m a creature of habit.  I know who I am and what I like.  In order for me to be completely happy and ready to write, I need to have conditions just right. Good coffee is a must. A decent place to park, where I don’t have to keep worrying about the meter.  And great Wi-Fi.  There are plenty of great coffee houses in LA.  My experience dictates that it’s very hard to find one with all three elements.  Coffee, easy parking, and free Wi-Fi.

I’m not the only writer out there

Obviously I’m not the only writer who likes to write in public.  Writing in public makes me feel like I’m part of some imaginary writing office.  I’m usually seated next to other writers.  We’re all typing away with our magical fingers. We all want that big Hollywood deal.  I might be sitting there writing a comedy and the guy next to me is writing a drama.  You can almost tell what others are writing by the way they dress.

Casual fashion usually means comedy

Ten to one the guy sitting there tapping away and wearing a T-shirt and jeans is writing a comedy.  The girl sitting nearby and wearing a buttoned up sweater is writing a drama.   Me?  I’m wearing a black leather biker jacket, a shark’s tooth around my neck and black ladies tights.  Don’t judge.  An important part of writing is research.  Need Wi-Fi for that.

Some coffee houses Wi-Fi sucks

It’s hard to find all the correct working conditions you want.  The first point of call is good free parking.  That’s tough in LA.  Sometimes there will be a lot, but they usually only validate for an hour.  Street parking can be like jumping up to feed the meter on the hour and that is annoying.   Great uninterrupted Wi-Fi is key and sometimes there are too many writers all working on the same signal.  Can slow things down a bit, which can be a real creative drag.

We all want the same thing

Everybody out here is reaching for the brass ring.  Their imaginations are on fire and fueled by a double espresso over ice.  It’s really rather inspiring because none of us know who will be the eventual winner.  In order to find out, you’ll have to Google it one day on Wi-Fi.

Find a good coffee house in LA with Wi-Fi

For The Hollywood Dog this is Steven Alan Green 4/17/17 

When people ask me what my favorite comedy film of all time is, I often stall for time.

“Oh, that’s a tough question.  Do you mean modern comedy or British comedy?  I mean there’s all kinds of comedy; and therefore all kinds of comedy film.  There’s classic love farce like Howard Hawks’ His Girl Friday, starring Cary Grant and Rosalind Russel.  Fast talking one-liners zinging throat close and leaving no wound.  Then there’s  physical comedy and of course, who could exclude the immortal Charlie Chaplin, who became the black and white embodiment of the unspoken political statement without uttering a sound.” 

NOTHING MORE PERSONAL THAN COMEDY

Not even sex.   In fact, sex is a sub-category of comedy.  That’s been my experience anyway.  More than religion and politics, no topic of conversation is more heated than who’s the funniest film comedian or what film is the funniest.  Just 20 years generation separation and you could be arguing with someone older or younger than you why “The Jerk” is 10 times more funny than say, “There’s Something About Mary”.  The smart comics know their lineage.  They know their twenty-something young souls were nurtured by the same comedy their parents watched on a nightly basis before they were told to go to bed, but it’s just 9.

I GREW UP IN AMERICA

But it’s on those “older shows” where the breakout comedy begins.  The rebel must have a stronghold to defeat.  Otherwise comedians find themselves in the worst imaginable hell for their type.  A permission based society.  I didn’t grow up in a world where everyone is treated like the polite stranger.  I grew up in America.  Where we treat everyone as either one of two things and two things only.  A friend or an enemy. But, I lived in England for nearly 20 years.  Where one assumes that being polite will get them what they seek.  How can I explain this properly……

REALITY IS A STATE OF MIND

You ever see the classic comedy film Being There? The 1979 comedy farce based on the book by one of my favorite writers Jerzy Kosinski and directed by the late great Hal Ashby.  Ashby was a Hollywood one of a kind legend.  His talent was immense and he left an indelible mark on Western Culture (he wasn’t a cowboy) with such classic films as Shampoo (came out long before Hairspray), Harold and Maude, The Last Detail and Coming Home.  The film Being There stars Peter Sellers.  Now, I’ve never been a Sellers fan, to be honest.  I kinda winced at all the Pink Panther films.  I guess I was too young to be old enough to be young enough again.

KUBRICK’S COMEDY VISION

Before Being There, perhaps Peter Sellers’ most famous iconic comic role was that of no less than three distinct characters in Stanley Kubrick’s 1964 classic comedy Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.  Screenplay co-written by Kurbrick, Peter George and Terry Southern, who was a force of Sixties counter-culture subversive comedy and dramatic biting satire.  His legacy includes Barbarella, The Loved One, and Easy Rider.  I mean, Jesus.  In Strangelove, Sellers portrayed three parts.  That of Group Captain Lionel Mandrake, President of the United States Merkin Muffley and the eponymous Dr. Strangelove himself.  All three characters were completely indistinguishable.  Amazing performances all from one man.

I UNDERSTAND, BEN

As Chauncey Gardiner, Peter Sellers gives – in not just my opinion – the greatest onscreen comedy performance of all known time and space.  To declare it a subtle performance is missing the point.  It’s beyond subtle.  An amazing fish out of water story, Sellers gets so deep inside his own head, the character of the dimwitted dolt turned media and political power enhances the plot of the mouse that roared to the point of the scariest place satire can go.  Possibility. That it could really happen in real life.

RELEVANT POLITICAL SATIRE

Well before the obfuscation of the Trump/Spicer kaleidoscopic alternate reality, there was Being There.  A political satire so cogent and accurate, it challenges the viewer to distinguish between the arms of the invisible government and media.  The smoke filled board room of power is skewered with deft handling of power play and naiveté.  Sellers plays it right down the middle.  Right where it counts.

YOU’VE WON THE OSCAR, BUT YOU’RE DEAD

This was Peter Sellers’ final role and what a charm it is.  Kosinski’s screenplay based on his eponymous book, directed by the great Hal Ashby, with stellar supportive roles by Shirley MacLaine and Melvin Douglas, and the great Jack Warden, Being There is a movie farce which will forever charm me from the evils of reality and remind me that no matter where you go, there’s always an alternate reality.  And that movie conceit lived itself out in reality.  The Academy gave Seller’s the Best Actor award, the Oscar, posthumously.  Proving that great artists, like great art, live on.      All will be well in the garden.

For The Hollywood Dog, this is Steven Alan Green 4/12/17    www.stevenalangreen.com