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Home parody

Jennifer Lawrence’s Sex Change

by Steven Alan Green
December 2, 2016
in parody, SAG
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17-jennifer-lawrence-1-w750-h560-2xThe Hollywood Dog has learned that at the early stages of her acting career, Hollywood superstar Jennifer Lawrence got a sex change. She did this because: “The meatier acting roles usually go to men.”

Sex change not confirmed with TMZ.

The story goes that a one Dr. Metahine Saboteur thought a sex change would be doable and therefore relatively painless.  Apparently Lawrence, who totally rejected the idea, thought maybe a homeopathic form of transition therapy might help.  As a result, she started by spreading shaving cream all over her nether-regions.

Sex change aside

The shaving cream supposedly contains whiffs of male hormones.  Those male hormones start the sex change process deep on a cellular level.  The good doctor Saboteur claims to have been Hollywood’s biggest secret as the man who changed Silvia Stallone into Sylvester Stallone. Silvia was an unknown rather ugly looking out of work Italian American actress.  For that reason, she decided to turn herself into blockbuster stallworth Sylvester Stallone. Dr. Saboteur could not be reached for comment, as a result of him serving a 20 year sentence in Biloxi Prison for…(ahem) “Male Fraud”.

Sex change rumors persist

None of the above has been confirmed by Lawrence’s publicist and The Hollywood Dog holds no responsibility for these false rumors.  Sex identity and sex change is a serious personal matter, and as a result, this blog should be only taken as humorous satire.

BREAKING NEWS: 

Apparently Santa Claus has checked into the Betty Ford Center for an undisclosed addiction.  Most noteworthy, no truth to the rumor Santa is considering a sex change. 

Jennifer Lawrence on Late Show

That’s the Hollywood Dog Daily Wrap-Up!

This has been Steven Alan Green with The Hollywood Dog. 

Your man in the field, up to his ass in traffic and unchecked emails.

12/2/16, Hollywood

 

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Tags: hollywoodJennifer LawrenceRumorsSex change
Steven Alan Green

Steven Alan Green

"Legendary" stand-up comedian and writer Steven Alan Green was one of the original Comedy Store comics and famously created a stand-up act where every show was his last. 5,000 farewell performances later, he moved to England and created an international live comedy gala for a drug and alcohol charity launched by Princess Diana. The London Palladium show was broadcast on British television. Steven lives in Hollywood and spends his days writing blogs, comedy for other comedians, screenplays and performs around town. He's also a proud part-time Uber driver.

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