Jimmy Kimmel mocked two of his favorite targets — Sen. Ted Cruz and former president Donald Trump — on the latest episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live, tearing into the politicians for their attendance at an NRA event held days after the Robb Elementary School shooting, as well as the absurd remarks they made there.
The late night host blasted Cruz first, telling his audience the Texas lawmaker “was on hand in Houston to spread his slime all over the NRA halls” when he attended the organization’s Friday (May 27) meeting.
“Senator Cruz had an unpleasant dinner at a sushi restaurant in Houston where a man confronted him about this idea that he seems to be okay with the fact that an unbalanced teenager shot up a school, because his plan is to do nothing about it,” Kimmel said, adding, “Ted Cruz must know that at this point, every busboy spits in his food, right? But maybe that’s what he likes about eating out, I don’t know. But I for one hope Ted Cruz never gets to eat peacefully in a restaurant again.”
He then roasted Cruz for his speech at the NRA event, where he suggested upgrading schools “to install bullet-proof doors and locking classroom doors.” After playing a clip of Cruz’s remarks, Kimmel quipped, “Spoken like a real knob.”
He continued, “Any other bright ideas, dumbass? Wouldn’t it be a shame if people started piling their old doors up on Ted Cruz’s lawn? Oh man, I would hate to see that. Imagine if there were so many doors in front of his door, he couldn’t get out of the door?”
Kimmel then moved onto his next subject, “the star of the event,” or Trump, who said at the NRA convention that “the violent and mentally deranged” need to be confined in “mental institutions” and insisted we have to “deal with the problem of broken families.”
With a smirk on his face, Kimmel told his viewers, “Yeah, that’s right. The deranged narcissist who had children with three different women is lecturing us about mental illness and broken homes.”
Pointing out the NRA’s hypocrisy, Kimmel noted that guns were banned from the Friday event because of Trump’s presence. “You know, you’d think with all the good guys with guns there he’d be fine, but I guess in this case, no,” he joked.
Kimmel added, “Trump and Cruz and all their fellow sewer dwellers are working overtime this week to shift the blame from what is obviously an overabundance of dangerous, semi-automatic weapons to a variety of issues and plans that that they are not going to do anything about, either.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live airs weeknights at 11:35/10:35c on ABC. Watch Kimmel’s full monologue in the video above.