Red Rock Bar & Grill – Sunset
Perry Kurtz is the Special Headliner for the Labor Day Party
at Dinah Leffert’s Comedy Show. He will be dancing. So, ladies bring your dollar
bills.
——————————————————————————–
Saturday Sept. 4th
Perry will be Hosting Professional Comedy at
The Green Room
6756 Hollywood Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90028
(323) 462-5399
Showtime 8pm to 10pm or so.
No Cover.
It’s at Highland, a few doors east of Guiness World Records. Just hop on the train and get off at Highland, cross Hollywood Blvd., and make a left. It has a round green sign. You can’t miss it. Well, maybe…
The Green Room serves sandwiches, soups, baked goods, juices, hot teas, lattes, mochas, ice blends, and more indoors, outdoors, or in their courtyard seating.
DIRECTIONS
Movie quote of the week…
“The white man gets all the best catchphrases!”
Thanks to all the comics from last night’s show. You really rocked it… Thanks for supporting Up n’ Comers! We have an AWESOME show THIS SATURDAY! We have headliner Rob Little who is ultra-hilarious! Plus, we don’t usually technically have a “feature act…” but Nikki Glaser is in town and I had to get her on a show! You may have seen Nikki on this last season of Last Comic Standing. She’s been on The Tonight Show and is always a treat to watch!
This Tuesday’s LA Pizza Comedy Experience™ with headliner Suicide Jimmy should be an awesome show!
It is Loud Todd’s 1 year anniversary at performing comedy so he’s going to do a nice set to celebrate. Come on down and support! Todd has made leaps and bounds in just 1 year… He’s already performed will perform at The Brea Improv, the Ontario Improv, The Ice House main room, The Comedy Store Main Room, and just about every other venue in LA. He just did a couple road gigs in SF, and has started producing his own shows… My hat is off to him!
Step Up Your Stand Up
A seminar/workshop with comedy producer Jeff Singer
Saturday, August 28th, 9:30am-5:30pm at The Comedy Union, L.A.
Mention SoCalStandUp.com in the notes area when you sign up and you will get an additional
10% off the already discounted price of $250. Normal price is $300…
Only $225 for when you mention SocalStandUp!
Don’t Miss Out! This is a rare opportunity to take an industry workshop with one of the most accomplished and influential comedy producers, Jeff Singer. Jeff is a veteran comedy producer and talent scout who has worked for the Montreal and Chicago Just For Laughs Comedy Festivals, Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn and Talkshow with Spike Feresten among others, and produced numerous live comedy events with stars such as Robert Smigel (Triumph the Insult Comic Dog), Nick Swardson, Jim Norton, Patton Oswalt, Craig Robinson, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Bill Burr, Ed Helms and more. Few Seats Left! Register Today at http://stepupyourstandup.com/ or click the ad below…
Thanks a lot,
Monarch
If anyone comics are interested in getting a website,
check out this video that details all the features and pricing…
Trouble viewing this newsletter?
View it on our site here.
Count Basie Orchestra
Happy Birthday to “Heroes” actress Hayden Panettiere (1989), French singer Alizee (1984), The Prodigy singer Liam Howlett (1971), System of a Down singer Serj Tankian (1967), “The Matrix” actress Carrie-Anne Moss (1967), Continue reading »
On a Saturday night, I hosted a comedy show at the Green Room on Hollywood Boulevard in Hollywood, which BY THE WAY, I will be doing AGAIN on Saturday Aug. 28th at 8pm. As it was a summer night, and Hollywood Boulevard was packed with tourists as well as locals. The tourists spend most of their time pointing and gawking at the signs and statues and the pictures that are displayed everywhere you look. Many of them have pictures taken of them on or by the stars of the famous people on the Boulevard. The locals come down to stare at the tourists and make fun of them behind their backs. It is literally like a cattle stampede with so many people moving, filling the sidewalks.
During our comedy show, a gentleman with a crutch began a fight with the manager of the club on the sidewalk by the front door because he wanted to come in.. They screamed at each other for about 10 minutes. I heard the manager say to the guy, “You come by every week and do the same thing. You’re drunk, and I won’t let you into the club in that condition.” After another 10 minutes of screaming, the man finally calmed down, and asked the manager to shake his hand. When the manager refused, another argument broke out. Lots of screaming and use of the F word. LOTS. The man started to get more aggressive and threatened violence. Meanwhile the crowd grew and grew and grew. As someone who works entertaining alcoholics at least once or twice a year, I know that alcoholics, sorry drunks, tend to get a little upset when they are denied entrance to any establishment. I know that the man was drunk and had a crutch.
But, all I kept thinking was, let him take the first swing, and kick out the crutch.
Game over!
Everyone return to your homes.
For more comedy, go to http://www.perrykurtz.com
Sunday August 22nd
National Comedian Perry Kurtz will be featured in
The Chick & Bro Show
“Sunday Funnies”
at
Harpers Bar & Grill
5545 Reseda Blvd., Tarzana 91365.
Showtime in 7pm.
No Cover Charge. Good Food. Full Bar.
And some of the funniest comics EVER!
For more on Perry, go to:
www.perrykurtz.wordpress.com
www.perrykurtz.com
 |
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ADVERTISEMENT | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Copyright © www.ClubberMedia.com | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
John Diresta The HOLLYWOOD Dog Whisperer
Steven Slater is an a-hole of the highest order! Period. That is exactly what I thought at first. Jesus H. Crimony, this rude, ugly, metro-sexual flight attendant is getting waaaaaay too much praise and a possible tv show? WTF??!! How can this happen? He’s a jerk! He hates his clientele! He is snippy, snappy, and never happy. He is the type of flight attendant that parses out the free Blue Chips late, and he does it on purpose! He hands them out late just so he can win at his own sick little game called, ‘How Can Mind-F*ck That Fat Slob in 22B?’ I reaaaally disliked this guy. A lot. I was a full-fledged ‘Slater Hater.’Not anymore.
This guy, Steven Slater, is a mother-f*cking hero! Think of it, not only defiantly quitting his job but doing with flair, in front the people you hate the most, and then grabbing a cold one and making a huge mother-f*cking dismount! He exited chut-left. He is the man. Antrax, the metal band from the Bronx, should get back together and do a song about Steven Slater, excuse me, I mean Sir Steven Slater.
The name of the song should be called “I am the man. Jet Blew.”
Think of every time you have ever wanted to quit your job, lots of jobs. Real day jobs suck. Worse then the day job is the mutts the come with it; you know who I’m talking about; the soup slurper, the bragger, the Guido, the slut with the bad boob job, the Stinker with his BO, the bad breather and then there are the bosses, supervisors, chiefs, monster a-holes, every last one of them. Then there is the corny retreats, the summer BBQ and the stupid Christmas party where you get to see all the skanky wives in their cheap red dresses. Remember in Good Fellas what Henry Hill said about day jobs?
“Day jobs are for the schnooks that had no balls, those goody-good people that ride the bus to work for bum paychecks, they’re chumps, they got no balls.”
Well imagine everyone you ever hated @ your day job were all jammed into one long metal tube. Their fat asses sausaged into small seats. They all have bad breath, bad accents, bad moods, bad wigs, bad caps, bad clothes, bad bratty kids, bad habits and bad manners, and the topper of all toppers, imagine you were their flight attendant, their server, their babysitter, their mother–and you had to this five times a week for dozens of hours at a time AND this was all taking place at 27,000 feet while your moving at about 583 miles an hour. You see where I’m leading? Slater had enough of the chumps, the a-holes, the snorers, the white trash, the arrogant dog lovers, the rude New Yorkers, the loud seniors, the cheap tourists, the terrorists and the worst of the worse, the crying babies. In my opinion, at least one parent of a crying baby should be sentenced to the death penalty. Especially if it’s the red eye from LAX to JFK on a Sunday night.
Here are just a few of the questions that drove Sir Slater to his own personal freedom.
‘My tv has no signal. My tv has no signal. My tv has no signal.’
‘Can I get an extra pillow?’
‘Can get an extra blanket?’
‘Can I get an extra of anything you might have extra of?’
‘How much is a soda?’
‘You don’t’ take cash?’
‘How much longer?’
‘How much longer?’
‘How much longer?’
‘I know this will fit in the overhead.’
‘I know this will fit in the overhead.’
‘I know this will fit in the overhead.’
‘I think I shit my pants.’
‘I know I shit my pants.’
‘I need help the bathroom.’
You get my point? Ya’ understand? Sir Slater followed the ultimate impulse; fight or flight. He chose flight. He broke out to arrive at his own personal freedom. He chose ‘f*ck you all’ and quit. Bravo. I owe you a beer. I can dig it. Can’t you? Seriously, back when I was a NYC Transit Cop (worst job ever, worse then coal miner, crab fisherman or PR agent for Tiger Woods) there was a fellow cop that became a legend by quitting the job in grand style, over the air, one his hand-held, while on duty. ‘Central be advised, I quit, this job sucks. Over and out. For real.” And then the officer got on the Long Island Railroad for free, road out to Lindenhurst Station and walked home, never to be seen again at the precinct. His name is Mike Ross. Mike Ross is a hero. Steven Slater is a hero. In world that is infested with PC bull crap, pansy ass kids, ball-less-beat-down-dads and sniveling working stiffs that will never try and better themselves Steven Slater stands out. He is the man. For real. Steven Slater drinks your milkshake, he drinks it up.
I’m out, off to eat some dog food.
The New York Times called him “UPROARIOUS!
You’ve seen him on ‘DiResta’, launched on the UPN Network, Miss Congeniality, 15 Minutes with Robert De Niro,, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Howard Stern Show., Trash to Cash, premiered on the FX Network.,How To Loose a Guy in Ten Days , Miss Congeniality Two., American Body Shop on Comedy Central, Hammered on HGTV/DIY Networks. and stand up comedy main rooms from New York to Los Angeles, www.johndiresta.com
“Mel Gibson Will Be Back” The Hollywood Dog Whisperer – John DiResta
John Diresta The HOLLYWOOD Dog Whisperer
Mel Gibson is a fighter. He will fight back. You do not get to be where Mr. Gibson was in Hollywood, a Top Dog, without being a fighter. Show biz is a tough bizness, touuuuugh bizness, not to get too corny, but it’s a dog fight but Mel fought through and Mel was the man @ the summit; actor, director, best practical joker, most money maker, most funny, most handsome, most great movies and then, well, then he took a slight fall. Slight, not so much you would notice……
First lesson, always assume all your phone calls ARE being recorded, always! Actually there are three things a man must always assume and these are the three things:
1: Always assume a gun IS loaded.
2: Always assume that your wife IS in a bad mood
3. Always assume that all phone calls ARE being taped, always!
Come on now, how can a guy not realize all that very private verbage was being taped? I don’t even say bad things on a private cell phone call for the fear of some wierdo with a HAM radio recording me in most natural, most loosest-of-all tounges. NOT ME. Thank you, this Dog don’t hunt! You got to be good with the tactics bro! It’s 2010 everyone knows everything! Twitter, Facebook, AOL, TMZ, Radar, Chelsea Lately, CNN, etc…..it’s a knife fight with the lights out bro! When you jump on a pirate ship expect to get stabbed in the back.
Now I am not calling Mel a hero because of his racial slang, I ain’t down with that, I love everyone. But come on now, what man (especially married over twenty years) does not want to scream at his wife like that? Bravo, clap, clap, clap, clap…Not only did it have balls…..but it had gusto, it had heart, it had mocking, it had sarcasm, it had meaning and most of all, it had true emotion; do they give Oscars for taped cell calls? If they do Mel better clear his mantel over in Malibu because is a shoe in this year.
Mel’s rants are right up there in the Phone Call Hall of Fame, right along side Captain Jenks, The Jerky Boys, Alec ‘you dirty little pig’ Baldwin and Tiger ’19th Hole’ Woods. I have all the Mel calls on a CD. The should sell them in a late night infomercial, Christmas is coming……. I find the calls, deep, disturbing, interesting, crist, shocking, fun, festive and in a world of Jersey House Skanks and Jersey Shore Skanks these recordings stand-out as real, true and as authentic as Morton Downey’s smoking habit.
Here is what Mel should do…. He should settle-out with Ax-ona, cut that kook loose. Move back to Australia for a while, grow some crazy beard and enjoy his accomplisments. Then, in about five years, after nobody has seen or heard from Mel he will come back with a movie so big, so bad, so focking great (like Passion of the Christ) that it cannot be denied. It will have love, hate, life, death, tragedy and comedy and most of all it will have Mel Gibson as the lead character, the fighter that never gives up, no matter what happens, he fights on, blazes on, the fighter, the warriror, the King that has given us, the home viewers dozens of great, epic films and dozens of great characters, historic characters, to watch and to enjoy and to relish in those characters victories with a shared love in our hearts and smiles on our faces….and the memorable name of that epic masterpiece will be, “First You Blow Me! The we go to the jacuzzi!’
The New York Times called him “UPROARIOUS!
You’ve seen him on ‘DiResta’, launched on the UPN Network, Miss Congeniality, 15 Minutes with Robert De Niro,, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Howard Stern Show., Trash to Cash, premiered on the FX Network.,How To Loose a Guy in Ten Days , Miss Congeniality Two., American Body Shop on Comedy Central, Hammered on HGTV/DIY Networks. and stand up comedy main rooms from New York to Los Angeles, www.johndiresta.com
I’m writing to let you know about a new open mic comedy show here in Los Angeles – Scott Everett Berger’s JOKE JUICE at The Tribal Cafe. Starting Thursday September 2nd, 2010 and hopefully every first Thursday of the month thereafter, I will be offering this fun, intimate and supportive room to workout and network.
sign up 7:30pm
show at 8:00pm
5 min. per comic
for more info email me scotteberger@me.com
or here at comedytuneup@gmail.com
Scott Everett Berger’s
JOKE JUICE
Next Show
Thursday Sept. 2nd
7:30pm
// ]]>
Keep’em Laughing!
CTU Staff
BIG DOGS WSJPowered by Yahoo! Answers
Follow me on Twitter
Dog Said