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The HOLLYWOOD dog
October 11, 2010

JOHN DiRESTA ‘The Hollywood Dog Whisperer’

Lindsey Lohan is Not an Animal, She is a Human Being…by JOHN DiRESTA ‘The Hollywood Dog Whisperer’

Lindsey Lohan is not an animal, she is a human being…

John DiResta
John DiResta

by JOHN DiRESTA ‘The Hollywood Dog Whisperer’

After 13 long, lonely days in the joint Lindsey Lohan is finally out of jail. First off, who wouldn’t want Lindsey as a cell mate? Any man (or women for that matter) would love to be a celly of that well-built Long Island Lolita. Pure and simple, she is sexy, she brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘prison food.’ Secondly, you have to give Mrs.Lohan a break. With those upper-middle-white-trash-attention-whore parents the poor kid never had a chance.

The mother, Dina, is the epitome of an over-bearing stage mom that ultimately wants to be the star. And Dina has a weird mouth and bad New York accent. Watch here talk, her no-lipped mouth seems too small for her face and her Penny Saver caps are about 23 percent too large for that fish-mouthed hag. She looks like Morton Downey with a vagina. And that accent?! Jesus H. Crimony! She makes that skank Snookie sound smart.

Then there is the dad, “Micheal Lohan”, what a dick. A balding, full-fledged-hanger-oner of the highest order. This guy has never met a camera he didn’t like. “Micheal Lohan” is like herpes, he never goes away, ever. “Micheal Lohan” and Roger Clinton should open-up a Jersey’s Mikes franchise down in Plantation, Florida. Please. He is an expert on nothing. I can’t even look at him when he comes on the screen. He makes me gag.

The next time you want to judge Lindsey’s problems, take a second and give her a small break, she deserves it; she was raised on Long Island where the local heroes were Dee Snider and Joey Buttafuoco. How are YOU doing?

If you think training your own dog is difficult, think about how hard it would be to train dozens of pooches at the same time. That’s the daily reality for Mark Forbes, one of Hollywood’s most respected animal trainers, and the man responsible for the canine actors in A Hollywood Dog’s Purpose.
Besides the four main dogs showcased in the film, there were three other “supporting canines,” and also puppy versions of each character.

John Diresta Comedy Career

n 1992 John started his comedy career in the bowels of the New York comedy circuit. Five years later his one-man show, BEAT: A Subway Cop’s Comedy, open to raved reviews. The New York Times called him “UPROARIOUS!” John Diresta quickly signed a huge development deal with ABC/Disney. John Diresta quit the police department and moved his wife and three kids to the west coast.

In the fall of 1998 John’s sitcom, ‘DiResta’, launched on the UPN Network. John then went on to secure very big roles in the movies Miss Congeniality and 15 Minutes with Robert De Niro. During that period John Diresta made two very memorable appearances on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and the Howard Stern Show.

John Diresta
John Diresta

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The HOLLYWOOD dog is an online magazine celebrating the intersection of Hollywood entertainment, comedy, cinema culture, and our favorite celebrity canines. Based in Los Angeles, California.

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