Lindsey Lohan is not an animal, she is a human being…by JOHN DiRESTA ‘The Hollywood Dog Whisperer’

Lindsey Lohan is not an animal, she is a human being…

John DiResta
John DiResta

by JOHN DiRESTA ‘The Hollywood Dog Whisperer’

After 13 long, lonely days in the joint Lindsey Lohan is finally out of jail. First off, who wouldn’t want Lindsey as a cell mate? Any man (or women for that matter) would love to be a celly of that well-built Long Island Lolita. Pure and simple, she is sexy, she brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘prison food.’ Secondly, you have to give Mrs.Lohan a break. With those upper-middle-white-trash-attention-whore parents the poor kid never had a chance.

The mother, Dina, is the epitome of an over-bearing stage mom that ultimately wants to be the star. And Dina has a weird mouth and bad New York accent. Watch here talk, her no-lipped mouth seems too small for her face and her Penny Saver caps are about 23 percent too large for that fish-mouthed hag. She looks like Morton Downey with a vagina. And that accent?! Jesus H. Crimony! She makes that skank Snookie sound smart.

Then there is the dad, “Micheal Lohan”, what a dick. A balding, full-fledged-hanger-oner of the highest order. This guy has never met a camera he didn’t like. “Micheal Lohan” is like herpes, he never goes away, ever. “Micheal Lohan” and Roger Clinton should open-up a Jersey’s Mikes franchise down in Plantation, Florida. Please. He is an expert on nothing. I can’t even look at him when he comes on the screen. He makes me gag.

The next time you want to judge Lindsey’s problems, take a second and give her a small break, she deserves it; she was raised on Long Island where the local heroes were Dee Snider and Joey Buttafucco. How YOU doing?

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